El Barba Grande (The Big Beard)

A.K.A: Fidel Alejandro Castro Ruz, President of Cuba, Comandante en Jefe of the Cuban Armed Forces, "El Caballo" (the horse), "The Giant", "The Grandfather"

El Barba Grande, way back when.

El Barba Grande, not so very long ago.

Powers: El Barba Grande's body is covered by an Amazing Epidermis which has the power to channel amino acids that create proteins, which, in turn, create keratin, which becomes hair. It is suspected that El Barba Grande can grow 120mm of hair from his Amazing Epidermis in a single year! El Barba Grande ("The Big Beard") has used his powers to grow a beard that is recognisable around the world. By using his powers, he has become a world leader and an internationally recognised icon for nearly half a century. Limitations: Some suspect that, without his hair, and especially his beard, El Barba Grande would lose his powers. There are numerous allegations that the CIA, in its attempts to destroy El Barba Grande's powers, have tried exploding cigars and hair loss potions. Others argue that El Barba Grande's Pointing Finger (which is also covered by his Amazing Epidermis - see images above) is also a source of power. Status: It is a matter of personal opinion and political doctrine whether or not El Barba Grande is a hero or villain. Superhero Slogan: "“As I have said before, the ever more sophisticated weapons piling up in the arsenals of the wealthiest and the mightiest can kill the illiterate, the ill, the poor and the hungry, but they cannot kill ignorance, illness, poverty or hunger." Interesting Facts:

• El Barba Grande was, in his early years, a guerilla.
• Fabian Escalante, who was long tasked with protecting the life of El Barba Grande has calculated the exact number of assassination schemes and/or attempts by the CIA to be 638. Some such attempts have included an exploding cigar, a fungal-infected scuba-diving suit, and a mafia-style shooting. One of these attempts was by his ex-lover Marita Lorenz whom he met in 1959. She subsequently agreed to aid the CIA and attempted to smuggle a jar of cold cream containing poison pills into his room. When El Barba Grande realised, he reportedly gave her a gun and told her to kill him but her nerve failed. El Barba Grande once said in regards to the numerous attempts on his life, "If surviving assassination attempts were an Olympic event, I would win the gold medal."

The Incredible Mr. Cool Butter

A.K.A: Bono, Paul David Hewson, KBE

Former Canadian Prime Minister Jean Chretien takes advantage of the Incredible Mr. Cool Butter's powers.

If his powers can work on Mr. Swift, they can work on anyone...

...almost.

Powers: The Incredible Mr. Cool Butter has the power to spread "coolness" to anyone (including the exceptionally "uncool") within in a three metre radius. For this reason, politicians from around the world scramble to be seen with him. The Incredible Mr. Cool Butter uses these opportunities to advocate on behalf of the socially and economically depressed. Limitations: The Incredible Mr. Cool Butter has a sensitivity to light which requires him to wear light-reducing vision gear most of the time. Status: The Incredible Mr. Cool Butter is a hero. Interesting Facts:

• The Incredible Mr. Cool Butter is a three-time Nobel Peace Prize nominee.
• The Incredible Mr. Cool Butter often goes by the name "Bono". He received this name in his youth when the Incredible Mr. Cool Butter and his friends were part of a surrealist street gang called "Lypton Village". The gang had a ritual of nickname-giving. He had several names: first, he was "Steinvic von Huyseman", then just "Huyseman", then "Houseman", then "Bon Murray", "Bono Vox of O'Connell Street", and finally just "Bono". "Bono Vox" is an alteration of Bonavox, a brand of hearing aid. The phrase in Latin translates to "good voice". "Bona Vox" was the name of a hearing aid shop they regularly passed in Dublin. It is said he was nicknamed "Bono Vox" after the shop by his friend because he sang so loudly he seemed to be singing for the deaf. Initially, Bono did not like his name. However, when he learned it loosely translated to "good voice", he accepted it. Hewson has been known as "Bono" since the late seventies, even prior to formation of the band, U2. Although Bono is his stage name, close family and friends also refer to him as Bono, including his wife and fellow band members.

Radiant Man

A.K.A: Bradley "Brad" Pitt

Powers: Radiant Man produces heat that is generated through the consumption of food. Radiant Man's body temperature is around 37^oC and, when he has a fever, can reach 40^oC or more! Within a close enough range, you can actually feel the heat radiating off of Radiant Man's body! It is not uncommon to hear exclamations of "He's hot!" in reference to Radiant Man's powers. Limitations: Radiant Man has a weakness for co-stars. Status: It is a matter of personal opinion whether or not Radiant Man is a hero. Superhero Slogan: "I'm one of those people you hate because of genetics. It is the truth." Interesting Facts:

• In 1995, Pitt was chosen by Empire magazine as one of the 25 sexiest stars in film history. Pitt has also twice been named the Sexiest Man Alive by People magazine.